Sometime in June 2000, after numerous tussles with “UEF/ÜF – anonymous alcoholics“, “XSF – xtraterra super frogs“, “ToP/FloP – closed old people's home“, “SCF – South Park psycho gaming group“, et al., at the tender age of 16, still dependent on mother's breast milk, I've got all of a sudden the nutty idea to found an own clan, which objective it was to kick all those asses of those almighty clans with their like-minded Earth-maniacs. At that time i didn't have the slightest clue how to do so, but what on earth could go wrong...

The first problem came with finding a proper name that sounded at least as innovative as “United Earth Force”. After some sleepless nights it was for sure: The abbreviation should contain 3 letters… so I bought an E for Earth, a U for Underground and finally an O for Organization. It wasn’t anything organized yet, and won neither, but the name was established and sounds great till this day.

Well, so I had my 3 letter long abbreviation with its fitting name but no members yet… and how do you attract new members in the 21st century? Of course with a phat freaky homepage! Buying? Stealing? Creating it by myself? Well, I didn’t have money, I didn’t know how to steal one, so the only way left was to create one. After a couple days looking at HTML, my first phat freaky page on black background with some lines of capacious capacity in different colors was ready to be shown off…

Since obviously nobody wanted to join my one-man-clan voluntary, I had to take other actions. First, the promotional expenditure was increased by some Swiss francs and an excessive scouting program was started. With a lucrative advertising contract, lots of beer and free entrance to an exclusive strip club in Cambodia, the first victim was found pretty soon. He had the well-fitting name Unknown, probably because it was “unknown” to him what kind of adhesion contract he just had signed…

Despite my slow modem and the disconnections caused by abrupt absence of electricity or phone signals, slowly but continuous some sick heads trotted in, wishing to become a member. Although they got their weekly ration of water and bread and the obligatory daily working-over, some members were either a bit passive or even completely inactive. So, as circumstances demanded it, some members left us every now and then. At least we didn’t have to feed those parasites up anymore…

As two and a half years ago some players said good bye to MoonNet, it looked like slowly it was endangered to die off. Concerning how to proceed, we thought it was the best idea to search for an alternative game. Empire Earth was hyped pretty much at that time, so many TMP players, including some weird EUO members, purchased it. Although many were not completely convinced by that game, we started an EE section, especially since many MoonNet zombies were starting to play that game, or at least trying it. Soon, we joined the PlayerLiga league and were not even that bad. Unfortunately, despite some new members, after a couple of months of dwindling interest to the game, it was time to say: bye, bye Empire Earth, next game please. [...]

translation to be continued...

Article by: Seek, translation by: Letis, Last Update: 12. August 2006